Teaching conflict resolution
Humans aren’t born altruistic, they are born selfish, this is natural and necessary. Sharing resources and resolving conflicts are skills that can and should be taught. In fact when we ask a child to share we are actually saying ‘Give away half, or more than half, of what you have’
This is the process we use at nursery which was derived from the Cambridge Independent Learning Project (CINDLE) and if taught and supported by adults for several months will give children the skills to use it themselves.
Start calmly. Do not assume you know exactly what has gone on. Show that you are not going to take sides
‘It looks like there is a problem here’, ‘Let me help you to sort this out.’
Acknowledge feelings. Children need to “let go” of their emotions by naming them before they can discuss them.
‘You seem very angry.’ , ‘Are you feeling upset?’
Gather information. Ask simple questions based on facts about what happened.
‘Both of you are going to have a turn to tell me what happened.’, ‘What made you sad?’
Restate the problem based on what the children have told you.
‘You don’t like it when he says you can’t play.’
Ask for ideas for solutions and choose one together. Consider all the children’s ideas. You may have to give a lot of input here.
‘Yes we could share. That’s a good idea. How about you each have one ride around the playground on the bike? I’ll wait here to help you’.
‘You could use the sand timer to give you each some time with the toy’
Give follow up support. See the solution through to the end, wait till the sand timer has run out or they have swapped the bike. Remind children of the successful solution when similar situations arise.
‘Have we sorted that out now? Do you feel better? Do you need to do anything else?
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Tracy
